How To Let Go
by Weatherbug02
Summary: "It's as if the world is gone, fading into a black oblivion. It's loud, but all I hear is the ringing in my ears. I am numb, but I suppose that's good. I don't have to feel anything. I don't have to hear anything either. It's probably better if I just sleep. Sleep is such a beautiful thing. That's all I want right now. To close my eyes and never have to open them again." Twoshot
1. Chapter 1

It's as if the world is gone, fading into a black oblivion. It's loud, but all I hear is the ringing in my ears. I am numb, but I suppose that's good. I don't have to feel anything. I don't have to hear anything, either. It's probably better if I just sleep. Sleep is such a beautiful thing. That's all I want right now. To close my eyes and never have to open them again.

I start to do it, but I stop. No. I can't do it. I have too much to live for. I can't sleep. I can't. I can't. I can't. My eyes are heavy, but I force them open. They want to close, but I keep them open again. Over and over until I can't anymore. I let sleep take me, hoping, praying, that I wake again.

I dream of black nothingness. Is this what it's like to be dead? I wouldn't know. I've never been dead before. Is there really a place beyond Earth with everlasting life? I wouldn't know that, either.

I get my wish. I wake up again. No longer am I numb. Instead I get shooting pains up my side. I gasp and wheeze until I can feel tears in the back of my eyes. I cannot cry. I can't.

I try to sit up, but my side won't allow me. I feel blood dripping into my eye so I reach an arm up to my head, but I immediately drop it a suck air painfully into my lungs. My right arm is broken, probably in more places than one.

I turn my head to the right and I see the battlefield. It's filled with bodies. Some dead, some suffering, just like me. There is no one standing. No one looking for me. I'm not surprised. I'm not important.

The wind blows my hair across my face. I can feel the blood soaking through my uniform and just by that I can tell that if I don't get help, I'll be dead in a matter of hours. My breaths are quick and sharp. That's when I remember Louis.

Where is he? Is he alive? We got separated during the battle and I got wounded shortly after. If he's dead, I'll never forgive myself. I twist the ring he gave me around my finger with my thumb. It's not an engagement ring, but it's the closest he can get without the councilmen freaking out on him. I remembers the day he had given it to me like it was yesterday.

_Corinne laughs as Louis picks her up bridal style and spins her around the palace garden. "Stop, Louis! You know I hate spinning!" she says._

_Louis smiles and lays her down on the ground, coming immediately after. "No, you hate not being in control. When you spin you can't rely on your abilities to help you from falling down. That's what your fear is, Corinne. You're afraid inability and in control."_

"_Am not,"_

"_Are too," Louis laughs and stares into her crystal blue eyes. His smile suddenly fades and he sits up. "Corinne, I know we've been talking about marriage and things like that, but…" His voice trails off._

_Corinne furrows her eyebrows and sits up as well. "What?"_

_He sighs. "I don't think we should get married. Not yet, at least."_

"_Why? Is it… is it me? Is it something I did?"_

_Louis waves his hand in front of her face. "No! No, no. It's nothing like that. It's just..." he pauses for a moment searching for the right word. "it's just that my councilmen don't necessarily trust you."_

_Corinne mocked a laugh. "Because I'm not a royal?" she asks._

_Louis puts a hand up in defense. "No!" He realizes her words are true and sets it down. "Well, yes."_

_The blonde rolls her eyes. "Need I remind you that your own cousin, who was also a royal, tried to kill you on your birthday?"_

"_Exactly, but they won't listen to me. I got the next best thing after that." He pulls out a black box and opens it to reveal a pink and gold ring. "It's an eternity band. Do you like it?"_

_Corinne's shocked face spreads into a smile. "Oh, Louis, it's beautiful. Will you put it on me?" Louis smiles and slips the ring onto the ringer finger of her left hand. They both lay down together again on the ground. Corinne smiles while absently twisting the ring around. "I love you," she whispers._

"_I love you, too, Corinne."_

I couldn't help but smile, remembering that day. It was nearly two years ago when I was nineteen and he twenty. We were both so happy and we still are -were- but now I'm afraid four years of knowing each other will be shattered.

I take in another sharp breath. The pain is so unbearable, I can barely breathe without wanting to sob. I can only pray Louis or someone, anyone, will find me soon. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to live.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks by the time the sun is setting. Every hour, it gets worse and worse. I know I won't be able to last through the night. I don't want to die, but with the extent of my injuries, I'm not sure I'll have a choice.

It's already starting to get cold. It was excruciatingly hot this morning so I took my coat off right before the battle happened, but now it's getting bitter cold for the night. Hypothermia will take me if my injuries don't do it first. Just my luck.

There are so many dead people. Some I recognize as Musketeers from Paris and most are in the army sector. I remember when the Spaniards let off that cannon, killing at least fifty, and set off a wildfire of angry French military men.

The world is getting dark now, but I'm pretty sure it's not from the sky. My vision is going black and I'm certain that if I sleep, I'll never awake. It's not easy to keep my eyes open when I could simply close them and be done with this all.

No. That's out of the question. I can't give up. I can't give up.

It's getting harder as my clock ticks. Every minute I lose hope that someone will come for me. Every second I'm afraid I'll die alone. Every passing moment I'm afraid I won't get to see my friends ever again. That's when I hear it.

A sound. A person. A call. The voice is so far and obscure, I don't know who it is or what they're saying, but I know this. There is hope. Hope only if I can help them find me. I'm hidden by these men all dressed the same in practically a mass grave. The only chance I have of surviving is if I can get their attention.

"Help," I say, barely above a whisper. It hurts to whisper, let alone yell. I try again. Nothing.

I figure the person has probably moved on. I know that I'll die now. I close my eyes and silently sob until I'm gasping in pain. I hear him again. The voice is distinctly male. I know it's Louis and he's calling my name.

I need to help him find me. I raise my left arm -the uninjured one- and wave it slightly. Nothing. The pain of that one movement is excruciating. There has to be another way. I can't yell. Or move.

"Corinne!" he calls. I can tell he's close. Then I get the idea.

I lift my left arm as carefully as I can and I use the light my eternity band is reflecting as a signal. First it's nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I lose even more hope.

I hear him before I see him. His gasping breaths. His footsteps. It's amazing how the simplest things are amazing when you're on your deathbed. I can feel his eyes search for mine and when they finally meet, he collapses to his knees and crawls toward me.

"Oh, my Lord, Corinne. I thought I'd find you dead." His voice is raspy, like he has a cold. There's a cut above his eyebrow and his sleeve is cut off with a bandage replacing it, but I'm just happy to see him alive and well. "What happened?"

I wince as he touches my broken arm. "There's this thing called war. It's very serious."

"Snarky and sarcastic even in the face of death, I see." It's meant to be a joke, but there's no humor in his voice. Louis shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I was just going frantic searching for you." He grabs something out of the bag he'd been carrying. A blanket.

Louis must've grabbed a medical kit for me after he had been treated and went out to search. "I assumed you might be cold." he says.

"Well, you assumed right," I let out painfully.

He places the blanket on my chest. It's thin, but I couldn't have it any better. Louis lifts my shirt up and I jump back at his touch. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"You need that wound cleaned and I'm going to do it."

I gasp. "No you aren't! Get someone else!"

He just rolls his eyes. "This needs to be cleaned now or else you're either going to bleed to death or die of infection. Neither would be very good." I begrudgingly nod my head in consent.

Louis removes the blanket and takes out a pocket knife. I was about to ask what it was for, but I figured it out when he ripped open the front of my blood-stained, white shirt. Only my chest is covered so I can feel the cold wind on my bare stomach.

Louis takes out a bottle and pours some of it onto my wound. I didn't expect so much pain so I sobbed and begged him to stop. He didn't. He kept pouring it onto the wound despite my good hand trying to stop his. It eventually becomes too much pain, that I start hitting and kicking him.

"Stop!" I whine in my fit of tears. He ignores me for a few minutes, but then snaps and slaps me across the face. This scares me because Louis had never, ever done something like that to anyone before.

His expression is snarled. "Corinne," he growls through gritted teeth. "you need to cooperate or you are going to die!" After that, I still cry, but I stop hitting him. That was probably the first time anyone had ever stood up to me before.

He stitches it closed. After he was done I never felt so awful, yet amazing at the same time. The sun is nearly completely down and the temperature is dropping rapidly. I try to not let him know that I'm cold because he's done so much for me already, but I can't stop my teeth from chattering.

"Here," he says, pulling off his own shirt.

"No," I shake my head. "You need it, Louis."

He doesn't listen and lifts my back up so he can slide the shirt under me. He buttons it closed and lays the blanket on top of me. "There,"

I sigh and take his hand with my good one. Words cannot describe how much I love him. His smile, his eyes. Every little thing he is, I love. He takes care of me without thinking at all of his own well-being. He knows when I'm tired and sick. He loves me no matter what.

"Thanks," I say.

Louis touches the cut on my forehead and grabs some alcohol from the bag to pour on it. It stings, but I don't cry. He takes a little rag and wipes the blood away. "It won't need stitches. You'll be alright."

I close my eyes and nod. "Did we win?"

He chews on the inside of his mouth and nods. "We lost a lot of men, though." It's quiet now. Only our breathing and the slight rustling of the wind fills the air. Even though he won't admit it, I know that he's cold.

"Louis, you should take the blanket. I'm fine."

He shakes his head. "No, you need it. I'll be alright." I was about to respond, but he cuts me off. "Corinne, really it's fine. Wait, do you want some water?"

I think about it for a moment. Do I really want water? Do I really want to take something else away from him? "No, I'm alright."

Louis rolls his eyes. "Shut up and drink the water." He takes his thermos and lifts my head to meet the spout. I don't take much, but I felt better than before and I realize I was on the brink of dehydration. Louis puts his thermos back in the bag and breathes heavy breaths. A few long moments pass before he speaks. "I thought you were dead. You… you always find a way to live, but I still had this feeling you were…" his voice cracks. "gone."

I take his hand and let him twist my ring around. "I thought I lost you," he continues. "I can't think of life without you, Corinne." I blink away tears as he speaks. "Don't ever leave me. Promise me that."

I shake my head. "Everyone has to go sometime, Louis. It's a part of life."

He puts his face close to mine; to the point I think I can hear his heartbeat. "That's the really sucky part of life," I crack a smile and he continues. "Promise you won't leave me any time soon." Louis gently sets his forehead on mine and stares into my eyes. "We can leave together in our late eighties after seeing our children get married and having their own children. Promise we'll go together after seeing all we need in life."

"I…" I'm not sure if I can promise this to him. Can I promise to stay alive that long? No, but I can try. Can I promise to love him and stay with him? There's no question. "Yes."

Louis traces my jaw with his hand and kisses me. I wrap my good hand around his neck while his stay on the side of my face. I remember our first kiss. I was young, only eighteen at the time.

_Corinne smiles as she looks out at the sun setting on the horizon. Evening was always her favorite time to ride in the balloon with Louis as it was the most beautiful part of the day. She looks over at him and smiles, casually leaning over the basket._

"_You're going to fall out, you know," he says. "and I'm not going to save you."_

_The blonde mocks a gasp. "Really? That's an awfully rude thing to say to someone who's saved your life more than the years you've been alive."_

_He laughs. "I'm just saying, Corinne, that it would be tragic for my rescuer to die."_

_Corinne walks toward him, wearing a smirk. "Really? Is that all?"_

_Louis gulps. "Yes…" She can tell he's lying._

"_Are you sure because," Corinne now stands toe-to-toe with him. She inches in until their noses brush. "Louis, I want you so desperately to love me. I want you to be possessive of me around other men. I want you to be mine." Corinne stops abruptly as the words leave her mouth. There's only an inch between their lips and she briefly considers backing out, but the blonde is too determined to make this happen. Corinne closes the gap between them, but only for a couple seconds before stopping._

"_Louis?" she asks._

_He stands there for a moment, wavering on whether that's what he wanted. There's no question. Louis smashes his own lips against hers and pins her back against the rope on the edge of the basket. His hands trail down her back to her hip while her own squeezes his arms._

They stop a few minutes later. Louis stares at Corinne lovingly and takes her hand. "I'll make a deal with you," he says. "If you stay with me, go to every ball with me, be the legitimate reason I have to reject marriage offers, then I'll do everything you ask of me."

Corinne bites her lip and nods. Their lips meet again and they don't stop until the light fades away under the horizon.

Three years later and we're still together. We stay like that for a couple of minutes before he stops and kisses the top of my head. "I should make a fire so we don't freeze to death in the night."

Louis walks off a bit until he finds some wood from what I presume was a wagon before it was exploded by a canon. He comes back and takes a match from the bag to light the fire. It takes ten minutes before there's an actual flame and I feel relief when I see Louis warming himself. It's bitter cold and I know for a fact that he couldn't survive through the night unless there was fire.

Louis starts making a bed of twigs, weeds and grass and when he's finished, he comes and eases me up into his arms. "If you stay on the ground," he begins as he lifts me off the dirt. "then the ground practically sucks the little heat you have in your body out." Louis puts me down on the bed and covers me with the blanket.

His usual happy expression is like stone. I never knew he could be so serious. "We need to splint your arm. If we don't it'll heal crookedly." He takes a couple of sticks and puts them under my arm. It burns like Hell, but I know this is necessary. Louis wraps my arm in gauze and cuts the blanket in half to use as a sling. After he finishes, Louis sets down by me and puts my head in his lap. He brushes hair out of my face as he studies my eyes.

"Shouldn't people be looking for you? Making sure you're not dead?" I ask.

Louis shrugs. "He has someone to check on me every hour."

I nod my head and close my eyes until I feel Louis shake me. "What?" I ask.

"Don't sleep," he says. "It scares me."

I look into his eyes and grasp his hand. "Louis, I'm so tired. It'll just be sleep. I promise."

He clenches his jaw and nods. I can tell he's afraid of me sleeping; that I'll never awake. I clench his hand and smile before closing my eyes. Then I fade into the dark.

_I'm at home. I'm eleven years old with an old red dress and messy hair. My mother is baking bread and father is out in the barn, while my little brother, Teddy, plays on the floor. The sun is setting and beautiful rays of blue, pink, and orange fill the sky as I sit on my front porch, listening to the sound of the wind._

_I inhale and close my eyes. That's when I suddenly hear a scream. It's from my mother who is now trying to drag me inside. Eight men on horseback are riding into the farm with guns and swords._

_Father runs out of the barn and cautiously walks toward the men. "Is there a problem?" he asks._

_A man hops off a horse and approached him. "Why, yes there is. You have my money."_

"_What money?"_

_The man grabs my father's collar. "The money you and your little group took from me!"_

_My father stared him down. "You stole that money, Effie. You had no right to it. Now leave me before I get the others!"_

_He laughed. "You mean your precious Aramis, Athos, and Porthos? Well, guess what?" Silence. "They're already dead."_

_My father's tensed up. "You killed them. You killed them!" Something snapped and he started punching the man, who easily was knocked out. The seven other men jumped off their horses and went after him._

"_Run, Marie!" father called out to us. "Take the children and go!"_

_The man who my father knocked out got up a minute later and eyed us. "Your precious family. It would be a shame if something happened to them."_

"_No, no. Don't do anything to them! Do whatever you want to me, just leave them alone!" he pleads._

_The man smirks devilishly and whispers to his men. "Raid the house."_

_Father heard him. "No! No, please, no! I'll do wha-" he's cut of when they hit his head on the ground several times._

_Four men bust down the door and approach my mother and I. She holds Teddy close to her chest while I hide behind her body. "Go away! We have nothing you want!" she shouts._

_One of the men scowls. "Actually, you do have something we want." he eyes Teddy._

_My mother shakes her head and holds Teddy closer to her. "No! Don't touch him! Take me!" They grab him from her arms. Mother fights back, but is quickly slapped and shoved to the ground. I go after them shoving, kicking, clawing, anything that I could. They push me back and slam the door in my face, leaving shortly after._

_I see a figure on the ground outside my window. My father. I run to him. "Daddy?" I say._

_He's barely conscious, blood coming from his head. "Baby, oh, Baby, you're okay."_

"_They took Teddy, Daddy."_

_He stiffens. "Take care of your mother, Baby. I'm not going to be around anymore."_

"_No, Daddy. Don't go."_

"_Follow your dreams. Remember, true courage is pursuing your dreams, even when everyone else says it's impossible." he coughs. "I love you, Baby." That's when he takes his last breath, me holding him in my arms._

"_Daddy, no!" I scream. "No, please don't leave me!" _

I jolt up and scream in pain. It was a dream, but it wasn't a dream. It was real. It was a memory. That's exactly how my father died.

"Corinne?" Louis pulls me into his arms. "Corinne, it's just a dream."

I shake my head. "No it's not. It was real."

He puts his head on my own and I start to cry. Louis cradles me and I just hold onto him, letting myself go, for once.

"Whatever happens, Corinne, know I love you. We'll make it through this thing and we'll get married. In secret without the advisors knowing. Say yes and I will make it happen."

I let tears fall as I nod my head. "Yes, yes. Of course."

"Don't let go," he says. "You have a reason to fight. Fight for me. Fight for France. Fight for what you believe in." Louis lays me down.

We fall asleep together and I'm glad that I'm with him. A few hours ago, I highly considered dying, but now I know that's not an option. I will stay with him. I'll stay with him until our late eighties when we go together after seeing our children wed and have their own. There is no plan beyond this, but I know as long I'm with him everything will work out.

When I know he's asleep I whisper, "I love you," And then I sleep, knowing that I'll wake again.

A/N: I've been working on this and it turned out WAY longer than it meant to. It wasn't even that hard to write. Thanks for reading. Review!

Sincerely,

Weatherbug02


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up early to the bitter morning chill. Corinne is still asleep on my chest, so I gently slid her off and tend to the dying fire. It's colder than yesterday was and I'm freezing but I am not about to take anything away from that girl. She needs it more than me.

I still can't believe she's alive. I swore she would be dead. I knew it. But she wasn't. She was waiting for me to find her. The very thought that she waited for me through that misery is remarkable… and I love her for it. It's selfish, I know. But I need her. I can't live without her. Hell, I wouldn't even be alive right now if it wasn't for her. It's time for me to start repaying those debts.

I stand up and shiver. The cold is hitting me hard, but I honestly don't give a damn. Instead I blow on the fire and throw some stray sticks inside of the homemade pit. It takes me a few minutes, but the fire eventually comes back.

I glance over at Corinne and smile. Her hair is draped across her face and her slinged arm lays across her chest. Words can't describe how much I love this woman. I would do anything for her. I don't care what those damn advisors say. I am marrying her even if they make me give up my crown. I wouldn't care.

I lay down next her and stroke her hair. The cut above her forehead is scabbed over and her broken arm seems to be alright. My main concern is the wound on her side. I've done all I can to it, but I'm risking a lot keeping her out here. We have to get to the main camp.

"Corinne," I whisper. She stirs a bit, but doesn't awake. I smirk, knowing exactly what I need to do to make her wake up. I take her shirt and push it up slightly. I let my fingers trace along the bare skin and her eyes fly open.

"Louis, get your hands off me or I am going to break your fingers." I laugh until I realize she's dead serious.

I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. "Uh, we have to move to the main camp. You need proper medical treatment," Corinne groans and leans into me. I gently stroke her hair, smiling, as she takes my hand and squeezes it.

"You have callouses," she whispers.

I smile. "It's about time I do. They're sign of working hard, and that training I did with you was definitely hard."

Corinne smirks. "Ah, yes. That training. I still don't know how you survived. I've trained countless musketeers and very few wanted to continue after a week." She runs her fingers over my callouses and holds my hand to her face. She takes a breath. "Why did you come?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you come here? Why not just stay home?"

I stroke my thumb across her cheek. "Why? I wanted to come because I wanted to be here with you; because I wanted to make sure you were safe."

"I can handle myself, you know."

I roll my eyes. "Obviously," I say, sarcasm etching my voice.

Corinne groans. "Okay, maybe not this time. But, really, I can take care of myself." She shakes her head. "Anyway, are we going back to the main camp, or what?"

I pull her closer into my arms and squeeze her shoulders. "Just a few more minutes, okay?" She nods. Corinne wraps her good hand around my neck and pulls my head closer. Our lips meet and we just stay like that for what feels like the longest time, even though I know I couldn't be more than a minute. Being with her is like that.

And just like that, every emotion possible goes through me. Anger, sadness, disbelief, hate, love. Before I know it, I'm crying against her lips. I'm not supposed to cry. It's a sign of weakness. But the truth is, I am weak; weaker than Corinne at this moment. Not physically anymore, but emotionally. I haven't been able to let out my feelings for twenty years and I can't keep it bundled up inside of me. I just can't.

Fairly soon, I'm sobbing. Corinne stops the kiss and stares at me in concern. "What's wrong?"

"I - I… Sorry," I choke out.

She shakes her head. "No, Louis. Tell me," She's not going to let this slide. She has never seen me cry before.

"I… just… can't… take it… anymore."

"Take what?"

My lip quivers, so I bite it. "This. Everything. Why did it have to be you? Why couldn't it have been somebody else or - or even me? I'm just not able to see you like this anymore!" Corinne cups my face and pulls my face close to hers.

"Louis," she begins. "I love you,"

I close my eyes and press my forehead against hers. "And I you," I kiss her again and we stay like that until the last possible second.

* * *

It's noon by the time I work up the urge to move to the main camp. I don't want her to see everyone who's died, but I'm afraid I don't have a choice. She has come so far; it's a miracle she's not dead and I refuse to let her die because of an idiotic decision on my part.

Corinne leans against my chest, playing with my identification tag. "I told you not to wear that thing, Louis."

I smile. "Corinne, really. What's wrong with it?"

"It reminds me that you could've died."

I know what she means. The ID tag is supposed to identify you to your comrades if you've fallen injured and can't speak or if you have died fighting.I can see why she didn't want me wearing it, but it is necessary that everyone wears it. Including me.

"Did you wear yours?" I ask. She nods her head. "Good thing we didn't need it."

Corinne laughs a little. "We really do need to go to the main camp."

I bite my lip. "I know, but..." I trail off.

She looks at me curiously. "But what?"

I take deep breath and look into her eyes. "I'm afraid you won't be able to handle what you see over there."

She swallows. "Is… Is it bad?"

I look at the ground. "Yes," I turn and stare at the hill that hides the main camp. "Almost everyone is either injured or… I don't even know how we won this."

"We won this because we know how to fight. We're resourceful and smart and-"

I laugh. "And we have you,"

"Exactly," she smiles. "You have me." We sit for a moment until she speaks again. "What happened to my friends?"

I bit my lip. "Uh, I'm actually not really sure. I passed out during the battle and when I woke up I limped back to the camp. They fixed up my arm and I came out to look for you." I think for a minute. "I saw Aramina tending to some of the wounded. I asked her if she's seen you but said she hadn't."

I feel Corinne tense and I squeeze her arm. "It'll be alright," I whisper. "I'll be with you the entire time. I promise."

She nods. "And how are you going to get me there?" she asks, a teasing tone in her voice.

"Uh," I say. "I'll carry you, I guess."

She laughs out loud. "Louis, do you know how much I weigh? I've carried men bigger than you by at least fifty pounds."

I roll my eyes. "Well, I'm sure I could too if you did my training correctly."

She shakes her head, obviously having more to say but dismisses it. "Never mind. Let's go."

I nod and stand up, stretching out my shoulders. She's laying on the makeshift bed with her hair loose, cascading over her shoulders and my white shirt over her small body which makes her seem smaller than what she is. And then I remember again how much I love her.

I kneel down and help her sit up. I can see the pain flashing in her eyes as she does that one simple task. Her breathing hitches and then she finally gasps and lies down on the ground again. "I can't do it, I'm sorry."

I nod and put my arm under her neck and then wrap my other arm around her waist. She moans in pain again but tells me to move on. The wind is worse standing up and my back begs for warmth. My wounded arm is wrapped around her waist and I would expect some pain, but there is nothing. There isn't when her life is in my hands.

How did we get this way? It's always been the other way around with my life being in her hands, but these past few days have been so hectic. I guess this just proves that she is indeed not inhuman. And if something happens to her… I don't know if I'll be able to live with myself.

What would I do if something happened to her?

I can't even think about it.

I look down at her pale body in my arms. She breathes slowly but sometimes unsteadily as she sometimes gasps for air. Every time I adjust her in an uncomfortable way, she flinches. And at that moment, I can see it, I can see all of it; I can see the pain built up behind her eyes, and the way she squeezes me every time she wants to cry, or when she cries out in her sleep because she's having a nightmare. And it all makes me want to die.

* * *

We eventually get up the hill before one o'clock. The camp isn't as bad as it was before I left, but that's only because most of the wounded are in tents and dead being surveyed near a mass grave. I pray to God all her friends are still alive because I'm not sure Corinne will be able to live without them.

I see Treville turn a corner and gasps as he sees me. He instructs one of his men to get a cot and walks up to me.

He bows. "Your Majesty," he says. "is everything alright?"

The soldier comes back with a cot, and I lay Corinne, who is asleep by now, down on it. "Yes, I suppose. Corinne needs proper medical treatment. I've done all I can for her at this point." I kneel down and press the back of my hand to her forehead. She has a fever.

Treville nods and tells the same man to get a free doctor to check up on her. As soon as he comes and takes Corinne away, much to my objection, I grab a shirt and follow Treville to our military tent.

"What's the death count?" I ask.

"We are not done yet, but last count was eighteen-hundred."

I subconsciously rub my chin and realize I'm getting a shadow. Shaking my head, I say, "How long until the official number?"

Treville looks down at several papers. "Approximately three days, Your Majesty."

I sigh. Of course it's three days. Of course they're going to prolong the recovery of these men and women. _Women_.

I gasp. "Treville, going off the record here, do you know anything about Viveca, Aramina, and Renee's whereabouts?"

Treville folds his arm across his chest. "Aramina is out helping with the wounded, and Viveca is helping survey the dead men."

"And Renee?"

Treville took a breath. "We haven't heard from her,"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Are you sure?"

He nods. "Yes, your Majesty, but there is a possibility that she's with the wounded, or that she is still unconscious on the battlefield." He takes a breath. "Renee's a strong girl. She wouldn't let that happen to her."

I shake my head. "Corinne's a strong girl, but I found her with one foot in the grave."

"All we can do is hope she'll turn up."

_Turn up?_ I think.

He said, "Turn up". Not, "Find her alive". I can only hope she's alright, or Corinne will be heartbroken. They'll all be heartbroken.

I walk out the tent and stand there as I watch the camp. It's quiet, except for the moans of the men in the tent. I see the doctor come out of the tent, wiping his bloodied hands on a cloth, and that's when I realize that my own hands have dried blood on them from when I was tending to Corinne's wounds.

He comes up to me and bows. "Your Majesty, Madame D'Artagnan is well. Her fever is reduced and at a stable temperature." He smiles. "And I would just like to say that if it weren't for you, she would be long dead."

I furrow my eyebrows. "I'm sorry, but what did I do?"

"Well, the wound on her side, if left untreated, would have made her bleed out, or become infected very quickly." The doctor drops his soiled cloth into a pile on the ground. "Her broken arm was set expertly, Your Majesty. I couldn't have done it better myself."

"So it will not heal crookedly?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "There's still a chance, but it's very slim." I nod as he continues, "The stitching is perfect, and everything should heal perfectly. She will be alright. We just need to keep the fever down."

I nod. "Thank you, doctor."

He's about to walk away but stops. "Would you like to see her, Your Majesty?"

I smile. "Where is she?"

"Your tent," he says simply.

I nearly choke. "My tent?"

He smirks. "I figured you would want to look after her." The doctor bows again, saying, "Good day, Your Majesty." I nod and he leaves me alone.

I walk quickly toward my own tent and open the curtain. She's laying on a cot on the floor, sleeping soundly. I smile slightly and lie down on my cot gently so not to wake Corinne. I'm so tired, I realize. These many nights of broken sleep has made me exhausted. Before I know it, I close my eyes and fall into a dreamless sleep.

When I awake, it's not naturally nor by Corinne but by one of the Musketeers who say I'm requested by Treville. I thank him and quickly stretch an walk out the door but not before I kiss Corinne on the cheek. I walk down to the main circle where the fire pit is lit and burning, and I see Treville talking to another of his men.

"Treville," I say after I've gone over to him. "is everything alright?"

He inhales and slowly lets the air out before speaking, "No, I'm afraid not," he tells me, his voice somber. "We have located Renee."

And immediately, I know where this is headed. Dear God, please don't let him say it. Please don't let him confirm what I already knew. No. No, no, no.

"She was shot."

That's it? She was _shot_? Shot. Shot where? Is she alive? If not, how long has she been dead? My head is spinning, and my breathing accelerates quickly.

"We found her around four miles from here with a bullet wound in her chest. She was alive-"

There's that word again. _Was._

"-but when some of my men tried to transport her, she died at the one mile point."

And that's it. She is dead. One of my best are dead, and there's nothing I can do about it.

"T-thank you, Treville," I say.

But what do I have to thank him for, telling me that my fiancée's best friend is dead? No, not a chance. It's common courtesy, but a terrible courtesy at that. With shaky breaths, I walk slowly, navigating around tents, and settle in my own. She's still sleeping. Good, a chance for me to figure out a way to tell her.

But how do I tell her? How do I tell her that one of her best friends was shot and killed? I can't lie to her. Surely she'd get suspicious if I told her that she fell in love with a Spaniard, and they ran off together. Right? I actually contemplated that for a moment, but I quickly stop and tell myself the inevitable.

I _have _to tell her.

"Tell me what?"

I didn't realize she was awake nor that I was speaking aloud.

"Oh," I say, searching for an explanation. "uh, we'll talk about it later. For now, how are you feeling?" I come up to her and touch her forehead. "Your temperature has gone down."

She sets her hand atop of mine and sighs. "I feel like I need a bath and a husband right about now."

I chuckle quietly, and Corinne pulls my head towards her. As our lips meet, she gently caresses my cheek as I press a hand against the cot to keep me from falling on top of her. After a minute, we separate and stare into one another's eyes.

"You are so beautiful, you know that?" I say.

She points a finger at me. "Do not start, Louis."

I smirk and let my hands go through her tangled, blonde hair. But then I remember…

"Corinne, we need to talk."

She furrows her eyebrows. "About what?"

I take a deep breath. "Viveca is out helping survey the dead men, and I've already told you about Aramina." She nods, obviously confused as to where I'm going with this. "We found Renee, Corinne."

And then I watch as realization cuts in. Her face turns from confused to hurt in an instant, and her eyes immediately fill with tears. Corinne doesn't cry unless she has to. And now she absolutely has to.

"She's dead?" she asks with a shaky voice, though already knowing the answer just as I had.

I give my head a slight nod, and then she covers her mouth with her hand, trying not to let a sob escape her. And then the tears come rapidly. I quickly take her hand and take her in my lap, rocking her as if she were nothing more than a child. But I don't blame her for crying either. She has a right to after what's she has been through these last few days.

Whispering comforting words in her ear while she clutches me, her face buried in the crook of my neck, she keeps crying, sometimes gasping for breath. Seeing her like this makes my heart ache. It's a true reminder that even the strongest can fall apart so easily. All it took was one shot in the right place at the right time.

"Corinne," I whisper. "Corinne, darling, I know this is hard. Losing someone you love is the worst pain there is. Trust me, I know. I lost my mother when I was ten and my father at fourteen. I remember how I would cry in my room at night, and I even contemplated killing myself several times."

She looks up at me, and I can see her tear-stained cheeks. She doesn't know about most of this. I hadn't told anyone about my suicidal attempts, though I know now that I should have. It started with trying to drown myself in the bathtub, and then to shooting myself, and then poisoning. I never had the guts to do it, but I'm glad I didn't. Though, I'm sure Philippe would have had a field day if that happened.

"When Philippe betrayed me, I was truly alone. I had no other family. You were the only one who kept me level-headed, making me hope I had a shot with you." I smile as I continue to rock her. "And I know you know loss as well. You've told me about your father. You were only eleven, but you understood it. And maybe at the time you didn't think everything would be okay, it did. You did exactly what you set out to be, and I know that if your father were here. he would be proud."

I take a breath and and look at her again. The tears are still present on her cheeks, but there's no more crying. "Renee was very young, but she accomplished so much already. And even though things will never be the same without her, she'll always be with you, telling you if you're crazy or not."

Corinne sighs and sets a hand on my cheek. "You're right, Louis." She smiles. "And when did you become so wise?"

I shrug. "I don't know, ever since I met you."

She closes her eyes and squeezes my hand. "Never let me forget how much I love you, Louis. You are perfect."

Perfect? No, I am definitely not perfect. I am the opposite of perfect. I'm the shy king who can't even figure out how not to crashland in my own invention. She's the insane female musketeer who can't seem to stop trying at anything. And maybe that's why we're together. Maybe being together is what makes us perfect.

I hold her closer to me. "No, I'm not. But neither are you. We're perfect together and nothing could ever change that."

She's about to reply, but a voice cuts her off. "Your Majesty?" It says from outside the tent. Immediately, I know it's Viveca. "Is Corinne in there? Is it okay if we see her?"

I look at Corinne for consent, and she nods. I stand up and open the curtain to reveal Viveca and Aramina, both red-eyed and shivering. I gesture for them to come in, and they do so immediately. As soon as Corinne's in sight, they wrap their arms around her and start crying again. I excuse myself outside where I sit on the ground, though I can still hear their conversation.

"I can't believe this has happened," I hear Aramina say.

Viveca sighs. "I know,"

"What are we going to do now?"

Corinne coughs for a moment but quickly regains composure. "We'll be alright. I miss her so much already, but I know she'll want us to move on as quickly as possible."

"You're right," Aramina says.

They talk a bit more before the two girls leave, so I walk into the tent where Corinne is just lying there, eyes open and head back. I can tell she still feels terrible, but I don't blame her. I couldn't handle this.

Grabbing my flask, I sit down next to her, and she sits up, taking small sips of water. After she's done, she sighs. "What happens now?"

I take her hand and squeeze it gently. Shaking my head, I say, "I don't know. I honestly don't know."

What do we do now? Are we supposed to go home and forget this ever happened? But that's not possible. We've lost people we love. How can we forget them? We can't, can we? Sometimes I wish we could, though. Sometimes I wish I could forget my parents and to not have to deal with the pain of their memory. Sometimes I wish I could forget Philippe's betrayal and never remember him.

But I can't.

I can't because I loved my parents, and why should I want to forget them? And, whether I like it or not, Philippe raised me for four years; out of force or choice, I don't know, but I can't forget that he did. We can't forget Renee, no matter how hard the pain is. She deserves to be remembered, especially after everything she has done for Corinne and myself.

"I wish this never happened," she whispers, barely audible.

I sigh and brush away a stray hair from her forehead. "So do I, but who knows what would happen unless it did."

We wouldn't have gotten engaged, I would have never opened up to her so much. The King of Spain could have taken over France, I may have been executed, Corinne most likely would have been killed. In a way, I'm glad everything worked out the way it is.

"When are we going back," she asks.

"Three days from now," I say. "I wish it could be sooner, but we have things to do here that cannot wait."

She nods slightly and squeezes my hand. "Never leave me,"

I close my eyes. "I would never think of it."

Corinne lets out a shaky breath, and I can see the tears envelop her eyes. "Thank you for all you've done for me. I could have never made it this far without you."

That was true. She never could have. She would have been dead by nightfall if it weren't for me. But why do I still feel as if she's the one who saved me?

I've never felt safe in my life. I've known the dangers of being the only heir since my early youth. When I was three, someone broke into my nursery and tried to kidnap me, and ever since then began my paranoia. But the moment I met Corinne, everything changed.

I smile as she closes her eyes, and when I know she's asleep, I whisper, "Oh, trust me, I would never have gotten this far without _you_."

* * *

**(A/N: Hey, remember me? I wrote The New Girl and This Life Ahead of Me? Well, hello again! Some of you requested a second chapter to How To Let Go, so I wrote it for you! Yay! I know, it's sad, but I'm very proud of it. And, yes, Louis POV just for you! I've actually been working on this chapter two to three months, but with TLAoM (This Life Ahead of Me) I haven't been able to give it the attention it needs. Now it's finished, and I'm so proud of myself!**

**Before I start another story, I'll be publishing a few more oneshots I've been working on, so hang tight until then!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Weatherbug02**

**P.S. To lovelovelove: Actually, I'd prefer not to give you the name of my school for security reasons. Sorry.)**


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